Communication: This is the number one advice I give to young couples. Never leave your feelings unresolved. I am not a fan of confrontation, but when I express my feelings to Chris as they arise, in a calm manner, it helps it not to fester and build up any resentment. We also have an open hearted policy where the other won't take any offense to the other when expressing ourselves. We have found that this way of communicating leaves us feeling comfortable bringing up any grievances we have with one another.
Understanding: It is one thing to listen to your significant other, and another to understand and comprehend what our loved one is saying. Putting myself into Christopher's shoes and setting aside my own pride is no easy feat, but it has been helpful in times of unresolve in a disagreement between us.
Love Languages: This has been a valuable tool for our marriage. Something that most people fall into is giving love, the way they would like to receive it. But each person is different, they may receive love through gifts or physical touch while you may receive it through acts of service, words of affirmation or quality time. It's harder work than you think, but being intentional with it is extremely helpful in our relationship.
Enneagram: Another great tool to use. There are 9 numbers that all speak to different personality types. Chris is a 5; very logical and has the tendency to believe that he has no needs. Knowing this, as his wife, I make sure to encourage him to dig deep to find out what he does need. I am a 9; conflict avoidant and believes that my presence doesn't matter. I have learned so much about myself and have worked to grow into my number through God. Knowing ourselves better, helps us be better spouses for one another.
Fun: Whether it's a weekly date night or a vacation for 2. Having fun has been our ultimate goal as a couple. Whenever we feel in a rut we try to play a board game, go for a hike, browse a bookstore, ride our bikes and find the fun. We are one another's best friends and that makes finding the fun a whole lot easier.
**Healthy relationships take a lot of hard work, and there is no shame in seeking professional help to work out any more serious relational issues in your relationship**