It's been over a year in this role and I have learned so much. About being on staff at our amazing church, communicating with all sorts of people and how to be a better leader. I am no where near perfect, and have so much more learning and growth, but I thought it would be fun to go through my bullet points of things learned leading the children's ministry:
Learning vs. Loving
When it comes to kids, you will get a variety of personalities, ages and temperaments all at the same time. For awhile I struggled with what my role is as one of their teachers of the Bible, Jesus and faith, but also as a leader. At first I was too focused on getting the story and message of the story across. But reality hits hard, especially when my age group ranges from 4 years old to 6 years old. Attentions can get lost quickly, so I had to adapt from a learning mindset to a loving one. I had to be at peace with the fact that my age group, may not remember the lesson that was taught in the 1 hour I get to spend with them. But they will remember that I loved them, cared for them, comforted them and that is ultimately the goal I want to achieve.
Leadership Skills
I am naturally a quieter person. Growing up in school my parents were also told that I was well behaved and sweet, but that they wished I participated in class more. Fast forward to adulthood and I'm still well behaved, and mostly like to stick to the sidelines. This can be a challenge when leading anything. But I have grown so much in a year. I can communicate a need or desire to our team of volunteers, I can chat about the direction I'd like to see our ministry grow, I can implement changes and adapt to every situation thrown at me, and I have a voice. Sometimes it's still quiet, but it is also firm and to the point. You may even say that I am participating in full ;)
Pivoting/Adapting
I mentioned this briefly in the above bullet point. But I don't think I ever understood how much adaptation would have to be done in this role. From rearranging volunteers on a Sunday morning, to shifting focus with the kids during our lessons (sometimes we gotta shake the sillies out) to cutting out sections of our lessons to adapt for time. It can also happen with life and schedules. I am blessed that I have a partner to lean on and don't have to pivot alone on a Sunday morning but we've both adopted a go-with-the-flow mentality and it's been amazing watching us glide through the chaos of a morning with ease.
Conflict vs Connection:
There was always a concern that we will have to talk to a parent. It can feel extra hard, when we only see these kids 1 day a week and only for an hour of that day. But when behavior impacts the safety of volunteers and other kids, we have to chat with parents and guardians. And if you are conflict-avoidant, like me than it becomes one of the hardest parts of your job. But what I've learned is that conflict in this area, doesn't have to be negative. It can approached in a loving way, and it should! I have had to chat with a handful of parents, and I have always approached it in a way that will benefit the child. How can we be supportive of them? Of the parents? What are ways we can make a Sunday morning easier for all of us? And to problem solve together is the best way to resolve any conflicts that arise. Connecting with kids and families and showing up for them, being in their corner, rooting for them is what matters most!
Needing to Decompress
I also realized that A LOT goes into a Sunday morning. And that because we are creating a fun learning environment, it means that my energy is at full blast! This also means I become overstimulated after service and need time to unwind with peace and quiet. I had this epiphany when I was grumpy with Chris one Sunday afternoon on our way home from church. He kept asking me questions and chatting with me and I felt that feeling of irritation. In my head I thought, "boy is he annoying," followed by "woah, what is my deal?" I voiced my feelings and realized that I needed some quiet after my long and crazy morning. It's always okay to feel overwhelmed, sometimes we can't help it. What matters is how we handle ourselves and our feelings.
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