Life Update:

Many of you follow along here for these types of updates and it has been awhile, so here's what has been happening over the last few months.

At the beginning of May I started a new job, managing a home: house cleaning, organization projects, home decorating and managing deliveries for a family. It's a job that requires 3 days of the week, 4 hours each day and has been such a fun experience thus far. On top of that I have been watching kiddos the other 2 days of the week.

This Summer, I took a hiatus from blogging to focus on my 2 jobs and to honestly get some clarity. I felt like I was racing, trying to come up with different ideas and writing interesting posts, I lost sight of why I wanted to run this Blog in the first place. It started feeling like a full-time job, rather than a fun hobby and creative outlet.

Speaking of the reason I started this blog... Chris and I have also been discussing the option of adoption more seriously this Summer. We met with some friends who just recently went through the process and they had so much valuable information for us! It was a lot to hear, but it gave us things to think and pray over as we continue to ask God to guide us in our journey.

At the same time I was a week late with a period at the beginning of August. The last 7 months, it has arrived like clockwork and so when I was a week late I took a test. It came back negative. I did however test positive for Covid-19, again! I wondered at first if my immune system was down due to a potential pregnancy, and my mind fluttered away to the fun and quirky would-be-announcement, that maybe I tested positive for both Covid and Pregnancy at the same time, but alas that was not the case.

I recently had drinks with a friend who is also on the journey to motherhood and she lamented her woe and frustrations over a recent late/skipped period. And here I was a few weeks later experiencing this once again. I made note of my thoughts and feelings and compared them to my thoughts and feelings from the last few years when similar occurrences would happen.

Just a few years ago my feelings were sad, grim, confused. But God has worked SO much in my life and it can be hard for me to explain to those who are in the thick of it just how much peace I have when these things happen to me now. My only advice to those who are hurting from missing or skipping, with a negative test result is to keep leaning into God. Keep praying about your frustrations and anger, keep crying with friends and family, keep journaling, or reading about other's experiences. Keep praying for specific things to be revealed to you on your journey. Don't lose faith.

I recently finished a book called "Satisfied," by Alyssa Bethke and in it she spoke of a mother whose small child had just made a big mess in the kitchen. The mother thought "great, now I have to clean up this mess!" but then shifted her thinking to "no. I get to clean up this mess!"

I thought it was profound. So often I look at my husbands clothes on the bathroom floor, or the kitchen cupboards he likes to leave wide open, or his shoes sitting next to the shoe rack, and it is easy to think

"I am always the one who has to throw them in the bin, close the doors or place the shoes on the rack" But if I reframed my wording to

"I get to throw my husbands clothes in the bin"

"I get to close the doors, my husband left open"

"I get to put away my husbands shoes"

Then I'd be reminded of how full my life is. Because I have a husband that I waited soo long for, a husband I prayed for and over for so many years. He's mine now and at the end of the day I would miss cleaning up after him if he weren't around.

I think this is how my mind is evolving through my journey. It's realizing I have so many blessings and God has answered so many of my past prayers that I just blindly believe my prayers of becoming a mother will happen when the timing is right. That no matter how consistent my life may be, there will always be hiccups or obstacles I wasn't quite expecting that I'll need to deal with and that I am still inquiring what the right path is to walk down. No matter which path we take God will be there holding our hands the entire way.

All in all, we have been trying to take things slow, trying to leave space in our schedules for down time, especially before the craziness of Fall reaches us! If life seems to be moving too quickly and you just don't seem to be able to catch a break, remember to breathe, do something for yourself this week, give yourself grace and be reminded of your blessings.