I wanted to start this week off by updating you all on our conception journey.
The last I wrote, was in regards to my Prayer Room and how much peace and healing it has done for me. In that post I mentioned going in for my first OBGYN appointment.
For those who don't know, I had never been to an OBGYN. I get my pap smear and was provided birth control through my primary physician and never had concern to see an OB/GYN. So my first appointment included a blood pressure reading and a chat with the doctor about our journey so far.
At this point I was just a few days from beginning my next cycle but I wanted, or rather Chris wanted, me to take a pregnancy test while at my appointment. The doctor told me where to go and the result came back negative. She also gave us recommendations: a blood test for me, to analyze my hormone levels and a sperm analysis for Chris.
In order to get my lab results I needed to wait to get my blood drawn on day 3 of my cycle.
My initial appointment was on February 12th, I was expected to begin my cycle on either the 13th or the 14th... nothing came!
I tried waiting a full week to test for a baby, but I grew impatient so I took one once I was 4 days late: NEGATIVE. I waited 3 more days... still no period! I took another test: NEGATIVE.
I was beyond frustrated. I wasn't menstruating and yet I also was not pregnant. This sort of thing hadn't happened to me in the last 6 months. I was regular, like clockwork. I was so confused but I turned to God. I cried out to Him asking what was going on? I lamented to Him and after all of that I told Him I had complete trust in Him. After the frustration and confusion I was at peace.
Exactly one week after my initial cycle was supposed to start, I began my period. I called for my doctor to make the appointment to get my blood tests.
My results came back, all levels were completely normal. It was an enormous relief! But we both knew that Chris' results were next. He had been suspicious that he might be the source of our not getting pregnant. I reassured him, that no matter what happens I love him and we will be okay!
His results came back, his sperm analysis showed slow motility. I was still on the praise wagon! In my eyes this was a semi-simple "fix." Lose some weight and hop up on some vitamins. The doctor suggested another analysis through a Urologist, just to make sure there were no other factors to the motility issues.
While we wait to get a further analysis, we have been content. We haven't grieved and our lives are running as they normally would.
We've been at this for a year and a half and have learned so much in that time. I believe that someday God will bless us with a child. But for now He wants us to focus on our health and our relationship.
We have been enjoying our time of rest and romance, we have been enjoying our exercise routines and our new lifestyle of clean foods and homemade meals. We are even planning out trips to take and projects to do before our blessing is revealed to us! We know that once a baby comes it will turn our lives inside-out and upside-down, so we are enjoying our NOW.
I am sure that you all are waiting for something,
-A promotion
-A partner
-A job
-A baby
-A new home
-Medical results
Whatever it may be, put your complete faith in God, I promise you He will see you through! That doesn't mean you won't still hurt from time to time, we are human after all. But I believe He makes the falling a lot less painful.
I also want to remind you to not dwell on what you're waiting for. Life is way too short and we need to seize the opportunities that are in front of us, every single day. We need to remember that every day, we wake up in the morning, is a GIFT and we shouldn't waste it on negative thoughts or actions.
My goal in life, is always to share more positivity, more kindness, more empathy. I hope you know you are loved and worthy of the best that life has to offer, and I hope this piece of our story has brought you comfort and peace. I pray that you too, can find your Joy in the Waiting ❤
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