In my last post I gave a life update and in that I casually mentioned mine and Chris' consideration of adoption. In today's post I wanted to share with you how we got to this point, and things that have started making this decision seem more solid.
I was recently reminded of taking the leap into figuring out our fertility issues. If you've been following along you'll remember I was afraid to take the leap (of getting us both tested) because I didn't want the doctors to tell us something was wrong. A little over a year later and I am faced with yet another obstacle of fear, in taking the leap to start the adoption process. The fear, you ask? Finances.
As you may recall Chris and I have been trying to give ourselves a Total Money Makeover, and it has been going well the last few months. But we both agree we are not super close to being fully financially stable. As you know adoption costs money and logistically we couldn't wrap our heads around starting this process, when we still have loose ends to tie up before starting our family.
Then I had a thought. It was back when I was a week late for my period, what if my test had come out positive? I posed this question to Chris when we were discussing our hesitations to dive into the adoption journey. He said, "We'd have made it work." My thought is this, we aren't actively trying to prevent a pregnancy naturally, so why are we preventing ourselves from an adoption path?
The same friend who told me to take the leap with seeing a doctor, told me to take the leap into adoption, knowing that we don't have to commit to anything right away, just visiting different agencies and seeing which could be the best fit for us.
Chris and I have also talked about praying fervently over this for the next 4 months. Chris wants to finish out our "anointing year," praying over our decision and asking for continued guidance. We want God's timing to continue playing a part in our lives and so that will be our prayer too.
Speaking of our anointing, I wanted to share that it wasn't long after that ceremony that I had this switch flipped in my heart. For so long I actually was dead set AGAINST adopting. I wanted to feel pregnancy and even more, I wanted Chris to see himself in his child's face. But God moved during our anointing and laid adoption strongly on my heart. When I was single I always felt a pull towards adoption and then I ended up marrying a man who was adopted. We set up our nursery and used it as a prayer room, but now I'm wondering if we set up a nursery to prepare our home for when we get a phone call. Has God been working in our hearts and in our home all this time? YES!
I believe that no matter how we create our family God will be at the center of it all. “'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. '” — Jeremiah 29:11
Our faith is strong and if you are a believer of prayer, please keep our family in yours. Ask God to guide us and to make our decisions clear, ask for continued wisdom in our mental, financial, spiritual and physical health, pray for a healthy baby, pray over a future and potential birth mother, and pray that through it all we remember that God is in control and he loves us more than anything and will bless us.
I know some of you are going through your own journey to parenthood and maybe adoption hasn't been an option for you. Maybe you haven't even considered it. If you still are unsure try praying about it, see how it feels. I remind you I was against it for so long, until in my prayers God laid it on my heart. See what he has to tell you. Listen for his answer in words from a friend, a song, a piece of scripture or just a nudging in your heart. Pray the same over fertility options, or pray for your waiting. Prayer is powerful, I know from experience and now I am taking the leap and acting on my hearts nudging to see if this is the right path we need to walk down.
Stay tuned for updates and if you have gone through adoption, I would LOVE to hear from you! Tell me your story, give me advice, anything! Bless you all and see you soon.
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